


Dream A Little Dream Of Me

by WO2Ash



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Baz Pitch - Freeform, Davy's a wanker, Dream Adventures, Enemies to Lovers, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Simon Snow - Freeform, SnowBaz, Soulmates, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, baby snowbaz, carry on mini bang 19, dream buddies, fic and artwork, foster father - Freeform, have dreams together and go on adventures, know each other in their dreams but not in real life, their relationship changes over time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2020-10-11 17:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20550071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WO2Ash/pseuds/WO2Ash
Summary: Soulmates Dream AUSimon and Baz have always been linked in their dreams. No matter what happens in their waking world, they know they can always count on each other when they go to sleep. The catch? They barely remember anything from their fabulous adventures together at night. Not even each other's names. But, if they can't remember the person they've fallen in love with every night in their dreams, how are they meant to find each other in real life?





	1. Chapter 1 - Age 5

**Author's Note:**

> This is my submission for the Carry On Mini Bang 2019!
> 
> The stunning artwork for this fic is created by the amazingly talented [thatsbitchcraft](https://thatsbitchcraft.tumblr.com/) ([half_witch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/half_witch/pseuds/half_witch)). They took my half baked idea and created something so beautiful, I hope I do it justice!
> 
> Not only did they create this work of art, but they also betaed all the work and kicked my butt when I needed it. You're a legend and I am eternally grateful! 

**Baz**

It all started after Mum died. 

I had just had my birthday and my Mum was killed in a break in. Trying to protect me. It’s too hard to sleep anymore. I hear her screams in my head every time I close my eyes. 

I’m so tired. I try to stay awake but my eyes don’t listen. I know I’m dreaming because the shadows around me don’t look the like the bad men that I usually see. I can hear waves. I think I’m back at my beach again. The one with the purple waves and blue sand. But it doesn’t look as happy as it used to. The colours are wrong. Dark. The sand usually giggles when the water tickles it. Tonight the water isn’t really moving and the sand is quiet. The sky is always pink with white, fluffy clouds made of sparkly cotton candy, but right now everything is dark and lonely.

I’m just sitting here, happy I’m not listening to Mum screaming but sad that my beach is sick. I see a movement to my left and see someone walking towards me. A boy. I have never had a person at my beach before. 

He sits down next to me. I’ve never seen him before. I wonder if he is real? His reddish blonde hair is so thick and curly I just want to touch it to see if it is real, too. I wonder how it shines in the dark like that?

“Hiya!” he waves at me with a smile on his face.

His eyes are blue, a few shades lighter than what the sand usually looks like when the waves touch it. And his face has so many moles and freckles that he looks like a choc chip cookie - he’s even golden coloured like one. I don’t think I could count them all if I tried.

“Hello,” I respond, trying to smile back but I can only manage a slight lift to the corners of my mouth. I don’t think my face remembers how to smile.

“My name is Simon! What’s yours?”

“Basil.”

“What’s wrong Basil? You look sad,” he comments.

“Why do you think I look sad?” I shoot back. I’m not used to talking to other children except my cousin. This boy talks a lot.

He scrunches his brow as he searches my face for an answer. “We have a poster at the home I live at. It has a bunch of faces. Your face looks like the sad picture. Are you not sad?”

I sigh. At least talking to this boy is better than hearing Mum scream all the time.

“I am sad. My Mum died last week. That makes me sad,” I say quietly, running my hands through the turquoise sand. Has the colour changed? It was darker before.

“That would make me sad too. I don’t have a mum. Or a dad. I live with a lot of other children. It’s loud and busy and scary sometimes. This is a nice place. I like it here. It’s quiet. I didn’t know that beaches could be blue! Do you come here all the time?”

“I used to. Not for a long time,” I respond, looking around me. Since Simon sat next to me, everything has gotten brighter. The colour of the sand is lighter, and the waves are starting to sparkle again, shifting colours right in front of my eyes. I think I can even hear little giggles from the sand right on the water’s edge. It doesn’t feel as lonely as it did when I first got here.

Simon sits with me in silence and we watch the new waves roll in and out. I think I hear him gasp when he hears the sand laugh at the waves. Slowly the sun starts to rise over the water and the edges of the world start to lighten.

Simon turns to me and smiles. “It was nice to meet you Basil! Seeya round!”

With that, he stands up and walks away, fading out with the horizon.

“Bye, Simon.”

I open my eyes to see the sun peaking through my curtains. It was a dream. I got to sleep without seeing the bad men and the shadows. This is the first time since the attack that I have slept through the night without crying.

I try and remember my dream. I know I was at my beach. I think someone was there with me. A boy. Maybe the boy was a good luck charm and scared the bad dreams away?

I crawl out of my bed (the gargoyles still scare me, so I don’t look at them) and run down the stairs to try and find Father or Fiona. Fiona is sitting at the table, staring at the wall.

“Aunt Fiona? What are you looking at?”

She starts and turns quickly to look at me. “Nothin’ kiddo. Just thinking. Did you sleep well?”

“Yes! I met a boy. I don’t know his name, but he was nice. We were at my beach.”

“That’s good kiddo, that’s good. It’s nice that you have a friend.”

A friend? This makes my face try and smile again. I almost can this time. I’ve never had a friend before.

*~*~*~*~*

**Simon**

It’s hard to sleep in the home sometimes. The older boys are mean and steal your pillows or blankets so a lot of the time it’s cold and uncomfortable. The younger ones cry a lot. I used to cry a lot. Now I just stay quiet and try not to be noticed. It’s easier if they forget you exist.

The older boys have left me alone tonight (I think I scare some of them because I don’t really talk much. I know the words, I just don’t see the point in saying them out loud). I’m excited to go to bed. I feel like I had a good dream last night for once, but I can’t remember why. I try and remember my good ones. I try and remember them for when I have nightmares. They make me feel better. But I can’t remember last night’s no matter how hard I think. Something about a beach? I think the sky was pink. And I was smiling, but that’s all of it.

I let go and fall asleep quickly. I feel the same sucking feeling as last night and I’m standing in a field of pink and purple flowers. They’re brilliant and tinkle like little bells when I touch them. I run my hands through them and smile at the sound they make. I look at my hand and find it covered in gold glitter that sparkles in the sun. I look away from the flowers and see swing set in the distance. I can see someone sitting on one by themselves. They aren’t swinging, just sitting.

I run in their direction through the flowers, covering my legs with glitter and making them sing with my movement. I notice it is the same boy as last night. He’s still thin and has really black hair. His eyes are the same colour I get when I mix up all my blue and green paints in the art room. I’ve never seen eyes this colour before. They look pretty next to his dark hair. It’s a lot longer than mine and falls in waves around his face, not quite touching the collar of his pyjama shirt.

“Hiya, Basil!” I call out, catching his attention. His face looks happier today than it did yesterday. It’s not as happy as the ‘happy’ picture on the poster in the home, but it’s not as sad as it was last night.

“Hello, Simon. I was hoping you would be here again.” 

“Really? You want to play with me? None of the boys ever want to play with me. I think I scare them,” I say with a shrug. I’m used to being all by myself all the time, so having someone want to spend time with me is a nice change.

“Don’t you have friends where you live? Why are they scared of you? Are you mean?” He asks, looking at me suspiciously.

“Nah, kids are always coming and going in the home. It’s easier not to make friends so I don’t get sad when they leave. I’m not mean. I try to be nice. I just don’t talk much.” I take a seat on the swing next to Basil’s. I have only been on a swing once, but I remember how to get it started.

“What do you mean you don’t talk? You talk all the time. You talk more than me,” he says, still sitting there.

I just shrug as I kick my legs in and out, getting my swing going. I look over at Basil and see he is doing the same. He swings better than me. He must get to play on them a lot when he is awake.

“I know the words. It’s just easier not to talk. The older boys aren’t very nice. If you stay quiet, they leave you alone.”

Basil looks at me with a frown on his face. “That doesn’t sound fun. I don’t have friends either,” he says. “We should be friends. Then we don’t have to be lonely.”

“Yeah ok! Let’s be friends! I bet I can swing higher than you,” I call out, swinging out my legs harder, trying to urge myself to go higher and faster than him.

“Na-ah! Bet I will get higher than you! I swing higher than my cousin all the time,” he calls back, kicking his legs out faster and faster.

We swing back and forth, laughing and calling out to each other, urging each other to go higher and higher as the flowers tinkle around us, throwing glitter into the air. He tells me all the things he does with his cousin and it sounds like so much fun. Playing hide and seek. Swimming in the creek behind his house. Patting the ponies in the field. I wish I could play with him in real life. I think we would be friends when we are awake. If only I was allowed to have friends outside the home. I tell him about the home I live in and all the children that live there. We don’t get to do the things that Basil does but the carers try to make it better for us.

I’m happy here. With Basil. But I start to feel that sucking feeling behind my tummy again, and I know that it’s time to go. I turn to Basil and smile.

“I think it’s time for me to go home. See you tomorrow?”

“Oh. Ok, yeah, I will see you tomorrow, Simon!”

I jump off my swing, give Basil a wave and start to walk back towards the flowers where I started from. The sucking gets stronger and then I wake up back in my bed.

I lie there on the lumpy mattress with the scratchy blanket, smiling up at the ceiling and thinking back to my dream. My smile starts to fade as I realise... 

I can’t remember anything. Only that it was fun. There was something about swings, and I think I remember flowers. And a boy.

I groan and thump my fist into my bed after a few more minutes of not being able to remember. 

Tomorrow. I promise. I will do better tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2 - Age 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stunning artwork for this fic is created by the amazingly talented [thatsbitchcraft](https://thatsbitchcraft.tumblr.com/) ([half_witch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/half_witch/pseuds/half_witch)). They took my half baked idea and created something so beautiful, I hope I do it justice!
> 
> Not only did they create this work of art, but they also betaed all the work and kicked my butt when I needed it. You're a legend and I am eternally grateful!

**Baz**

Father is getting married again. To a lady called Daphne. She’s nice. But she isn’t Mum. I haven’t felt this bad since I couldn’t sleep when I was little. 

I still play with my sleep friend every night in our dreams. He calls me Baz now. I like it, it makes me sound cool, like someone who would have friends. But I’m worried about what’s going to happen in my real life now that Daphne is going to live with us. I have heard them talk about babies. This makes me more worried. Why would they need any more? It feels like they are trying to replace me. 

I find it hard to sleep at night again. Everything is fine when I’m asleep, but it’s the getting there that’s hard. It’s like I can’t turn my brain off. Once I finally drift off, I know tonight is different.

Everything starts like sleep usually does. It’s black, and quiet and calm, then suddenly, I’m catapulted head over heels through the darkness. I just keep falling and falling through the black void. All I can see is my arms reaching out to the sides, trying to grab something to stop the sensation. I’m unusually pale, it’s almost as if I’m glowing. But as usual, my hands only find more emptiness as the tumbling continues. This feeling frightens me because I never know if I’m going to stop, or worse, if I will actually hit the bottom. Tears run down my face as I try to right myself. I feel like I have been falling for hours.

And then I see a golden light above me.

_ Simon. _

He’s a golden beacon in the darkness around me. He’s reaching forward, arms extended towards me with a look of determination on his face.

“Baz! Grab my hand!” he calls out to me, straining forward, urging himself to fall faster towards me.

I stop flailing around and reach my hands towards him.

With a grunt, he grabs my wrist as I grab his, holding on as if my life depends on it.

“Simon,” I sigh, feeling myself calm down for the first time since this dream started.

He grins back at me, reaching down with his other hand to fully hold me in place. It’s only then that I notice the wings emerging from his back. They are giant, red and rubbery with little black claws on the tips – just like a dragon.

He sees the shocked look on my face and looks behind himself with an embarrassed smile.

“Huh. That’s cool!”

“That’s cool?! Simon, what the ever-loving hell is happening?”

“I dunno mate. I was asleep and then I felt this insane sucking feeling in my gut, ya know? Next thing I know, I’m in this black void and I can see you falling! I had to get to you somehow, and I was reading a book on dragons today. Guess my mind just merged the two ideas together. They are cool though, aren’t they?!”

At this thought, his wings draw back and push forward strongly, sending us flying upwards, away from the darkness.

At the sudden movement, I cry out and grab his arms with my other hand, trying to hold on so I don’t start to fall all over again. I feel something slide around my waist and squeeze. I cry out again when I notice a smooth, red tail wrapped around me.

“Jesus Christ, Simon! You grew a tail too?”

“What? Oh! Wow, that’s so weird!”

“You think?”

He just laughs at me as he flies us out of the void, the area around us getting lighter as we go.

“Uh, Baz, as much as I like helping you, do you think you could fly yourself? You’re kinda heavy.”

“Fly myself? How? I don’t have wings like you do.”

“Just think about them. That’s all I did and they just appeared,” he calls back to me.

Just think about it.

Ok. I can do this.

I feel a heat start in the space between my shoulder blades and burst out of me. In my peripheral vision, I see enormous black bat wings unfurl and stretch out, the thin membrane between the bones nearly translucent in the growing light.

Simon laughs and lets me go, allowing me to soar on the invisible air currents, swooping and diving as the thrill of flight thrums through me.

I let out a whoop of laughter and beat my wings harder and start a steep, steady incline into the air, rushing past Simon, who is grinning from ear to ear.

“Bat wings, Baz? I guess that makes sense.” He rises to fly next to me.

“How does that make sense, Simon?” I raise my eyebrow at him. I’ve been practicing this while I’m awake and am thrilled that I can do it in my dreams, too.

“Because you actually look like a vampire, and everyone knows that vampires turn into bats!”

I turn to look at him incredulously. “How do I look like a vampire?”

“I think it’s the hair. It looks like the Dracula book we have at the home. But you aren’t white and you don’t have the fangs, so that’s probably it,” he replies, looking me over thoughtfully.

“Well at least I don’t have a tail like you!” I shoot back with a smirk on my face.

“Hey! Don’t you go picking on my tail.”

I laugh at the look on his face, like I have just insulted his best friend.

“Simon, it’s not even a dragon tail. It’s like it belongs to a cartoon devil.” I can’t help but laugh harder as he reaches around and runs the tail through his hands.

“Oh. Well… Shut up!” He’s laughing now too at this point so I know he isn’t actually offended by my comments.

“Come on. I bet I can fly faster than you!” I call out, as I beat my wings hard and shoot forward.

“I doubt it! My devil tail makes me more streamlined,” he shouts back as he tries to catch up to me.

I don’t know how long we carry on with the flying, tumbling, swooping and laughing, but soon enough, I can see the edges around Simon start to fade. I know our time is up for tonight.

“Looks like my time is up Baz! See you tomorrow night!”

“Bye Simon.” I pause for a moment and whisper “Thank you. For coming to my rescue and helping me.”

He looks back at me with a smile, only slightly transparent. “Anytime buddy! What are best friends for?”

At this comment, he finally disappears with a small pop and a shower of sparks that fall into the abyss.

I smile and look down at my hands, noticing that I am also starting to fade. I wish I could remember our adventures when I wake up.

I slowly turn to see a light start to form on the horizon and know that it’s morning.

I already know I am going to look forward to tonight when we get to go on another adventure. My dreams are the best part of my day.

*~*~*~*~*

**Simon**

This care home has more older kids than I’m used to. They aren’t very nice. The boys especially are horrible, and I spend as much time as I can hiding from them. When they catch me, they hit me and yell nasty things at me. My dreams, and my dream friend, are the only solace I get from them. They call me a freak because I can’t wait until lights out. It’s the only time I get to relax and just be me.

Well… usually.

I know I’m in a dream because I’m on a boat. A pirate ship to be specific. The other pirates are advancing towards me, holding rusty swords in front of them and leering at me, gold teeth glinting in the harsh sunlight. They have the faces of the boys in the home. They’re backing me into a corner, chanting in vicious voices.

“Plank! Plank! Walk the plank!”

I turn around and look behind me and that’s when I see it - an opening in the side of the ship with a long piece of wood jutting out over the tempestuous ocean. I swear I see a fin peak through the white-caps under the plank.

I can feel my heart start to race as they continue to advance on me. I swallow thickly and try and calm myself down. I can’t think logically with their chant echoing in my head and the sun beating down onto my face and the waves crashing against the side of the boat.

“Plank! Plank! Walk the plank!!”

I feel the back of my legs hit the small step at the opening as I fling my arms out to stop myself from falling. One pirate emerges from the group and smiles cruelly at me.

“Simon Snow. For the crimes of being a silent weirdo, you are sentenced to death! Plank! Plank! Walk the plank!”

The rest of the pirates behind him cheer and pick up the chant again, pushing forward as they do, giving me no choice but to step up onto the plank.

I am shaking all over and I think I’ve started to cry. I take a few steps out off the side of the ship and look back at the crowd. They just laugh and cheer that I am being dealt my punishment.

“Please! Please don’t make me do this. I will talk more, I will be normal. I promise!” I beg to the leader.

He just sneers at me and throws a bucket at my head. I have to duck to avoid it hitting me in the face which causes me to lose my balance.

I topple over the side of the plank to the sounds of their cheers and chants. I scream the whole way down until I hit the frigid water.

Instantly I take in a mouthful of the briny water and start to choke. I kick furiously towards the surface, trying to regain my breath, but the heavy clothes I’m wearing hinders my movement and I can feel myself slowly sinking.

I try and hold my breath for as long as I can, but I give up when I feel my lungs burning. I exhale and instinctively try and breath in again, instead, inhaling another mouthful of water. The burning pain in my chest starts to make my vision go blurry. There is a flash to the left of me and just before my eyes close I see a familiar face in front of me.

_ Baz _ .

Before I fully register what I’m seeing, Baz’s worried face is rushing towards mine and he slots his mouth over my own, breathing into my lungs. I widen my eyes as my lungs are suddenly full of oxygen, as if we were on the surface and not under the frigid water. I go to push him away, terrified.  _ No, he doesn’t deserve to die because of me. _

I scramble for a few seconds before he swims around behind me and grabs me around my waist. With a strong push, we are shooting forward at an incredible speed. I wrap my hands and arms over his and hold on, ignoring the stinging in my eyes and the burning in my chest.

As if he senses my lungs aching, he taps me on the shoulder, and presses his lips to mine when I look back at him. My body tenses as he breathes out oxygen, filling my lungs and keeping me alive.

Hardly any time passes before we finally breach the surface, but I notice that the ship is nowhere in sight and instead of being in the middle of the ocean, we are floating in a secluded cove with a small beach and palm trees visible on the shore. (I wonder how we got there so fast) (I’m not a great swimmer).

Baz continues to swim us towards the shore and within moments I feel the sand under my knees. He lets go of me and I collapse onto my hands and cough up all the water I swallowed. Slowly I crawl towards the beach and flop onto my back, breathing hard. Once I regain my breath, I realise that Baz is still in the water with a weird look on his face.

“Baz. You saved me. I thought I was a goner.”

“Just paying you back for the other night, Simon,” he replies, voice low with a blush starting to spread over his cheeks.

“Why are you still in the water? I swear I saw a shark before, you better get out!”

“Um. I can’t,” he mutters, looking away from me.

“What? Why?”

Slowly he leans to the side and a long blue-grey tail appears from under the water. It flips around a bit in the air the more I look at it.

“Oh my gosh. Baz. Are you a… a  _ mermaid _ ?” I inquire, eyes widening as I take in his whole appearance.  _ That explains the oxygen-fuelled kisses! _

His hair is slicked back from his face and looks like it nearly touches his shoulders. His chest is bare and smooth, and as I look down, I realise the bottom half of his body morphs into the dark grey tail, starting just below his belly button.

He still looks sheepish, as he starts to come closer to the shore.

“I got sucked into your dream when I felt your fear. I saw you hit the water and I knew I had to get you out as soon as I could. I didn’t know if you could swim. My brain must have panicked. But I knew that mer _ men _ can breathe underwater and they are fast and strong so it’s not necessarily a bad decision on my behalf,” he explains.

“Wow, your tail is so cool! Can I touch it?” I ask, moving towards him with my hand outstretched.

“What?! No! That’s weird!” he snaps, jerking away from me. It looks like his blush is getting worse.

I giggle at his reaction which makes him frown even more.

“Fine. If I can’t touch yours, I’ll get one of my own.”

I wade back into the water and start to think about my legs joining together, fusing to create a tail like Baz’s.

There’s a warm tingly feeling start from my hips and rushes all the way through my knees and down to my toes. Within seconds, I can feel my tail under me, swishing through the water easily. I look down and gasp in surprise. It’s a beautiful bronze colour, with different flecks of gold and copper peppered through it. It’s so pretty!

I strip off my shirt and dive into the deeper water, finding I can easily see and breathe under the waves above my head now. I lean back and watch my tail move through the water and marvelling at the glinting of the scales as the sun hits them. It sparkles like I’m covered in gems and treasures. I glance over at Baz’s tail and realize his is doing the same.

His tail is gorgeous. From the surface it looked grey, but under the water, with the sun on it, it shimmers like it is dipped in diamonds. Like mine, the grey colour is peppered through with hints of blue, green and silver, making the sight breathtaking.

“Wow. Baz, your tail is so pretty!”

He coughs and looks away, a small smile playing on his lips. “Thanks. Yours looks like it is made of gold.”

I grin. “I know right? So cool!” I swish it around just to emphasise my point.

He laughs and pushes my shoulder. “Come on Simon, let’s go exploring.”

Baz takes off, streaking through the ocean like a silver bullet, leaving a trail of bubbles behind him. I laugh and swim after him, deliberately swimming through his bubble trail. They tickle my skin where they hit.

After we spend what feels like an eternity playing in the waves, racing fish and dolphins and finding sunken treasure, I can see that Baz’s tail is starting to disintegrate.

He watches as pieces of his tail separate and turn into silver glitter that gets swept away with the current. He turns to face me, a wide smile that makes his eyes crinkle slightly. “Looks like we’re done for tonight. I’ll catch you tomorrow!”

“Bye Baz! See you tomorrow!”

I start to swim towards the surface. The closer I get, the lighter it gets around me until everything is completely white.

I open my eyes and look around the sleep room with a smile on my face. Is it any wonder why I love lights out every night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Chapter 3 is on it's way!
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://wo2ash.tumblr.com/)!


	3. Chapter 3 - Age 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stunning artwork for this fic is created by the amazingly talented [thatsbitchcraft](https://thatsbitchcraft.tumblr.com/) ([half_witch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/half_witch/pseuds/half_witch)). They took my half baked idea and created something so beautiful, and I am in constant adoration of their creation! If you haven't seen it, check out chapter 1!!
> 
> Not only did they create this work of art, but they also betaed all the work and is probably one of my biggest fans - which just blows my mind! You're a legend and I am eternally grateful!
> 
> Also a big shoutout to [penpanoply](https://penpanoply.tumblr.com//) who gave me Baz's voice and starting point for this chapter and listened to me freak out over the phone for 3 hours (from across the world and in different timezones, no less!!) You're amazing and I am so thankful I have you!!

**** **Baz**

“I’m gay.”

Father turns slowly from where he is preparing his drink to level me with a stare. I can feel my heart beating so hard I think I am going to throw up. I swallow and wait for him to start speaking.

“Basilton. You are 15. You do not know anything about what you want in life. You haven’t had a girlfriend so you’ve no reason to think that you are… like this. There are a number of lovely girls at the club and you are a good-looking young man. I’m sure that anyone of them would be happy to be on your arm.”

I feel my face grow slack in astonishment while I just stare at him.  _ Don’t know anything about what I want in life?  _ How would he even know what I want? That would require a conversation deeper than ‘How is school?’

I sit up straight and look father in the eyes.

“Father. I know what I am and I know what I want. I have never looked at a girl the way you think I should. I fancy men. This isn’t going to change. Forcing me onto some poor unsuspecting girl isn’t going to change what I am. You can either accept this or not, but I will not be forced to pretend that I am something other than this.”

“You are the last of the Pitch name. It is your family duty to carry this on. I’m sure we can manage to work out a way for you to do both. As long as your… predilection… is kept discrete, there is no reason for anyone to think you are different.”

I honestly can’t believe what he is saying.

I stand slowly, pulling at the cuffs of my shirt near my wrists, deliberately not making eye contact with him.

“Well, father, that is your opinion. I am going to do what I feel is right for me. I’m going to make the assumption that you are not going to support this. Good night.”

With that, I turn and walk from his office. I wait until I reach my room before I allow my feelings to show through the cracks of my mask.

Why did I honestly think it would turn out differently? I knew what he would say, how he would react. We are one of the most prestigious old families. There is no room for a ‘gay scandal’ in our family. The fact that he offered to get me someone on the side to ‘hide my predilection’ just proves this.

I think about our discussion as I move around my room getting ready for bed. I think I first started to understand what was happening around 13, after a particularly fun dream with my dream buddy. I can never remember what he looks like, or even his name, but I know that my feelings for him are definitely more than friends (if the way I wake up some mornings is anything to attest for). I know how insane this sounds. He’s literally a figment of my imagination. Well, at least I think he is. This doesn’t stop me from searching the face of every male teenager I see when I’m out, hoping that something will jog a memory and alert me as to his realness.

I crawl into my bed and settle in under the blankets (the gargoyles are still creepy). I don’t see my dream friend as frequently as I did when we were younger (maybe it’s a maturity thing?) but my last thoughts before I drift off are of him.

***

His hands are on my face as he leans in close, stopping just before our lips touch. I search his nondescript eyes before I make up my mind, close my eyes and reach the rest of the way, pressing out lips together.

I can feel my blood sing through my veins as our mouths move against each other, slowly to start with and speeding up as I get more comfortable. I run my hands up his back, pulling him closer to me so we are nearly touching everywhere. He doesn’t have a shirt on even though I still do. He drops his hands to my shirt and starts to undo the top few buttons and then dips his hands in so they spread over my chest and collarbone. My breath hitches in my throat and he uses this action to slip his tongue into my mouth. I moan as I rub my tongue against his, slanting my head to that our mouth fit together better. 

He brings one of his hands up into my hair, tugging on it gently. He’s now sitting in my lap and I can feel him push his hips against mine slightly. I groan and push back, following his lead. I drop one of my hands to his hips while the other one winds into his dark hair. He pulls me flush against him as we rock our hips together, moaning against each others mouths. Just as I reach down towards his pants I hear a noise to my right.

“Oh… oh God! Sorry!! Sorry!”

I flinch away so hard I nearly tip backwards. I snap my head towards the familiar voice and look at Simon’s face in horror.

“Um.. sorry! I got sucked into your dream. Must have been your heart rate again. Did you want me to go? I don’t want to interrupt!”

It’s only then that I realise that the imaginary guy I was snogging has disappeared. I run my hand through my hair, trying to return it to something close to normal as I breathe deep and calm my thundering heart.

“No – no it’s OK Simon. Stay.”

Simon approaches where I am sitting slowly, very evidently embarrassed and unsure as to what he should be doing. It’s not like you catch your dream friend grinding on an imaginary guy every night.

I button my shirt up again, trying to restore the normalcy between us. This was not how I planned on telling Simon.

“Uh, so… you like blokes?”

“Yeah. Sorry, this isn’t how I wanted to tell you. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Baz, it’s fine. So, you’re gay?”

“I prefer ‘queer’, but yeah, completely. Does this bother you?” I can feel the edge entering my voice when I ask the question, the tension from the conversation with my father still clouding my mood.

Simon looks at me, eyes wide, obviously picking up on the tension behind my words.

“Not at all. To be honest, I don’t think I’m as straight as I thought I was. I don’t know what it is. But whatever, I don’t need a label. I’m happy just being me, muddling through life.”

He turns to me and smiles like he didn’t just drop a truth bomb on me. Carefree, young. I wish I was as free as Simon. I can feel the envy curl through my body but I push it down quickly.

I think back on what he just said and something sticks out. He doesn’t think he is as straight as he thought he was? A small part of me wonders (hopes) that this change was somehow because of me.

While we sit here and contemplate new truths, I can’t help but think about the scene that Simon just interrupted. I know that my brain provided a perfectly blank canvas of a guy for me to experiment with, but I know that I was thinking of someone specific during the whole thing. A certain someone with reddish blonde hair and freckles and moles all over his body. Someone who happens to not think he is as straight as he originally thought.

From the corner of my eye I can see Simon looking at me, taking in my kiss-swollen lips, crushed shirt still slightly agape and dishevelled hair. I must look like an absolute mess, but I can’t find it in me to care. I turn my head slightly to make eye contact with him and am pleasantly shocked to find that he doesn’t look disgusted or uncomfortable. He continues to rake his eyes over me, and I see something shift in his facial expression, nearly like he is asking a question. He quirks his lips up and I feel something simmer and settle low in my stomach.  _ I wonder… _

I make up my mind and turn to fully face him. I reach my hand forward and place it on top of his.

His smile falters, his breath hitches as his eyes flick down to our hands and then back to my face. I can see the emotions flit across his face and settle into something that resembles decisiveness.

He flips his palm around and slots his fingers in between mine closing them against the back of my hand. He finally raises his eyes back to me and smiles shyly.

I smile back at him and squeeze his hand. I feel him squeeze back as his body relaxes next to mine. Soon we are leaning on each other comfortably, holding hands and just enjoying this new closeness between us.

I can feel the end of our time approaching. After 10 years I have learnt to preempt this feeling, so I turn towards Simon and reach my other hand up and place it on his cheek. He gently pushes back into it, nuzzling my wrist with his nose.

“Simon.”

He looks up at me as I slowly lean forward, my eyes flicking between his eyes and his lips, making my intention clear so he has the chance to pull away if he wants to.

“Baz.”

He starts to mirror my body language, leaning towards me too. Just as our mouths get a breath away, we’re fading.

I startle awake in my room. I know that something major has shifted in my dreams, but all I am left with is a sense of joy mingled with crushing disappointment.

I sigh and settle back into my pillows, praying to whatever Gods exist that I have another dream sooner rather than later.

*~*~*~*~*

**Simon**

I’m sitting in the living room when Davy gets home, slamming the front door shut. I’ve only been living with him for a few months, but I don’t feel comfortable here. Yes, it’s better than the homes, but at the same time Davy is unpredictable. His moods fluctuate like the tides and I never know what’s going to happen when he gets home at night.

He startles a little when he sees me sitting on the couch, the TV down low playing a repeat of some cooking show.

“Simon! What are you doing home? I thought you would be out with that girl you’ve been seeing.”

I shift nervously, avoiding making eye contact with him, trying to take up as small a space as possible.

“No, sir. We decided that we would be better off friends so that’s not happening anymore.”

“Ah, well Simon. Onwards and upwards, hey? I’m sure you’ll find another girl.”

“Or guy,” I mutter under my breath.

I can see Davy go still when he hears me. His eyes flash as I see the tendrils of rage start to fill his body.

“Excuse me? Did you say ‘guy’?”

I gulp and start searching for escape routes. I know how this is going to end for me. Resignation fills my body when I realise that Davy has blocked the only door into the room. No escape. Shit.

“Y-yes, sir. I like both.”

“Stand up, Simon.”

I do as he says, hunching my shoulders and keeping my eyes firmly on the ground at my feet. There are a few stains on the threadbare carpet. I use these as a target for my vision.

I feel more than see Davy take the few steps into the room, directly in front of me. The sharp crack registers in my brain before the pain in my cheek does. My eyes start to water as my cheek throbs. I keep my eyes firmly on the ground and try and control my shuddering breath.

“Look at me.”

I refuse, keeping my eyes downcast. If I can’t see him, then I can pretend it’s not happening.

This only results in a hard punch to the ribs, knocking the air out of my lungs.

“I said. Look. At. Me.”

I flick my eyes up at him as I hunch over, trying to regain my breath at the same time as protect my body from any more hits.

“I will not have someone like  _ that _ living in my house. You will make a choice. Be normal or get out.”

His voice is so eerily calm that it takes me a while to register what he has said. His ultimatum.

“Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”

Davy exhales and plasters a sharp smile on his face, but it doesn’t reach his cruel eyes.

“Well then, I’m glad that’s sorted. Now, off you go to your room. There’s a good lad.”

I stumble my way out of the living room, and half run to my room, desperately trying to put as much distance between me and Davy as I can. I close my door quietly and lean against it as the sobs start to wrack my body.

All this does is make my ribs scream in protest while I try to suck in air and my cheek to ache when I screw my face up.

I slowly walk to my bed and lie down on my uninjured side, trying to be as gentle as I can with my battered body.

I see that I have a few text messages from Penny but I just don’t have the energy to deal with responding to them tonight. I will have to go to her place in the morning before school so she can cover my bruises again.

With this thought, I tug my covers over my body and close my eyes, hoping that the numbness of sleep will help me pretend that this isn’t my life while I feel the tears continue to slip down my cheeks.

***

The next time I am aware of my surroundings I realise I am standing near a dark, calm lake surrounded by a pine forest.

I walk over to the edge of the water and see a small pile of smooth stones laying nearby. I settle myself on a boulder and start to skip the stones across the water, disturbing the stillness with the ripples.

It’s been over a week since I was with Baz in our dreams. It seems like the older we get, the less we see of each other. I wish this wasn’t the case. I miss him and could really use his presence tonight.

A snap of a twig behind me startles me from my musings as I turn and see Baz walking towards me, almost like I willed him into existence. Maybe I did?

He settles himself on the boulder next to me, keeping a distance between us that feels both comfortable and unusual at the same time.

He finally looks at me and smiles gently. He drops his hand between our bodies, an open invitation for comfort if I want it. I want it.

I twine my fingers with his, holding his hand close to me, trying to soak up the feeling of comfort that he provides.

“Hey” I say softly, flicking my eyes to his.

“Hey yourself.” He shifts his body closer to mine, so we are basically flush up against each other and audibly exhales, like he needs the comfort as much as I do.

We sit there quietly and I start to notice that the colour of the water is changing, as if it can feel my body starting to relax and unwind in Baz’s company. Just like when we were kids.

Baz turns to look at me, studying my body language and how tense I am. He must think it’s weird how quiet I am today. I just don’t have the energy for conversation right now.

“Simon, are you OK? Your shoulders are so tense they are nearly up by your ears.”

I roll my shoulders and try to lower them back down, but I struggle.

“Um… yeah… I don’t know. Not really. Don’t worry, I don’t want to ruin your night with my problems.”

“No. Simon, no. Look at me.”

At that, I flinch away and wince at the pain that shoots through my ribs at the sudden movement.

Baz looks horrified at my reaction. He’s so quick, I’m sure he saw the pain on my face. Damn, I don’t want him to worry about me.

He squeezes my hand and brings it up to his mouth, kissing the back of it softly. My breath hitches at the tenderness of the action and I finally look up at him.

“Simon, love, talk to me. I’m here for you. I’ve always been here for you. You never have to be afraid of me.”

I take in a shuddering breath and fill Baz in on what happened before I fell asleep. The more I talk, the more I feel myself relax. I watch as the muscles in Baz’s body start to coil, like he is gearing up for a fight. Maybe he is.

“Simon. That’s horrible. No one should ever feel like they can treat you like that. I wish we were together when we are awake. I would take you away from there. I would fight to keep you safe. I would make sure no one ever touched you like that again. What a wanker!” Baz is seething.

He is so worked up in his anger over my treatment that his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are bright with conviction. I can’t help myself.

I learn forward suddenly and press my lips onto his, stopping his rant mid word. His eyes fly open in surprise but quickly close as he tilts his head to allow our lips to slot together properly.

I place my free hand on the side of his neck, feeling his silky hair brush against my knuckles as I pull him closer and hold him in place. I start to move my chin, letting my body take over. I think he likes it because he makes a delicious noise in his throat and brings his other hand up to cup my cheek.

I hiss in a breath and pull back slightly at the contact. He frowns at me as I grimace at the pain thrumming through the side of my face.

“Sorry, that was the side he hit. Clearly pain transfers over here but not the bruise.” I let go of the hand I’m holding and instead place it on my other cheek.

“There we go, that’s better.” I flash Baz a cheeky smile and crash my lips back onto his.

I can feel Baz huff out a laugh against my lips and continue what we started just moments before. I run my tongue over his bottom lip, asking for permission. He grants it nearly immediately and deepens the kiss, twining his tongue with mine.

We continue kissing, caressing, sighing into each other’s mouths for a long time before we slow down and pull apart. It wasn’t the erotic gropefest that I witnessed between Baz and the guy he imagined up last time, but this feels more real.

“That was nice.” I smile shyly as I look up at him, taking in his flushed cheeks, kiss-swollen lips and blown pupils. At least I’m not the only one affected.

“Nice? Jesus, Simon. Way to cut a man down…”

I laugh out loud, leaning into Baz’s side and tucking my face into his neck, taking in his unique scent. Something spicy and earthy and explicitly  _ Baz _ . I place a quick kiss against his pulse point and feel him shiver under my lips and hands.

“What do you want Baz?”

He blows out a breath and runs his palm up and down my back in a soothing pattern while he thinks.

He tilts my head back up by placing two fingers under my chin. He searches my eyes and smiles slowly.

“I want this. Anything and everything you want to give me, I want it.”

I feel a smile spread across my face as I reach up and press a soft, chaste kiss against his lips.

“Me too. You might be a figment of my imagination, but I want you.”

Baz gently places his hands on either side of my face, being careful of my bruise, and kisses a spot on my cheek. I think I have a mole there. The kiss feels more intimate than the frenzied make-out session we just had.

“You’re not imagining this. I’m real. This is real. We will meet eventually. Until then, we will just have to make the most of the time we have.”

My breath hitches at his words and I crash my face into his in a desperate attempt to convey my feelings that I just can’t find the words for.

We continue to kiss and touch and laugh and sigh until we fade out of each other’s arms and I awaken to my room back in Davy’s house with a smile on my face and a deep feeling of  _ home _ in my heart.

Nothing Davy does can take this feeling away from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Sorry that this took me so long to update... school happened and then anxiety happened and then I got a kick in the pants and finally got something down! 
> 
> The next chapter is half done... just have to keep the momentum up!
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://wo2ash.tumblr.com/)!


	4. Chapter 4 - Age 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so it's been a hot minute... or months... nearly a year. Sorry!! Adding a timeline to posting really just killed the vibe for me but I was determined to get this fic finished!! And I did!!
> 
> For all of you who have stuck around, thank you. Your messages of support was greatly appreciated!!
> 
> The stunning artwork for this fic is created by the amazingly talented [thatsbitchcraft](https://thatsbitchcraft.tumblr.com/) ([half_witch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/half_witch/pseuds/half_witch)). This is dedicated to you! You dragged be through this, you kicked my butt when I needed it and if it wasn't for you, this never would have happened. Thank you, you're amazing!

Simon

When I look around me, I realise I am standing in a large room, painted white with huge floor to ceiling windows and french doors that are open to a calm beach in the middle distance. I take in the room and notice that the only thing here is a massive 4 poster bed covered with white netting and the lushest quilt and pillows I have ever seen. All I want to do is throw myself onto it and sleep for an eternity. I don’t think I have slept well since I moved into the dorms at university. The only thing that would make it better would be if…

“Oh Gods, you’re a sight for sore eyes. Let me get my hands on you.”

I exhale at the sound of his voice. I turn around and let my eyes feast on him.

Baz.

I hardly have time to respond before I’m being crushed against his lean chest, his nose buried in my neck. I can feel myself fully relax for the first time in I don’t even know how long. Everything is better, brighter, when he is in my arms.

Our dream rendezvous are getting fewer and farther between, but when we are together, we don’t waste our time. It’s like no time has passed.

“Baz, love, I have missed you. How do you get even more better looking every time we meet?” 

Baz scoffs, “like you can talk. Your chest is even broader and don’t even get me started on your forearms. Why are we wasting time talking?”

I huff out a laugh as he basically drags me to the bed and pushes me down into the softness (I was right, this bed is insanely comfortable). Baz follows me down, pressing his body onto mine, and the feeling is indescribable. 

I push my hands up the back of Baz’s shirt, feeling the muscles in his back move and tense as he moves on top of me. I throw my head back and gasp as he latches onto my neck and sucks a bruise there like we are 16 all over again. 

“Jesus, Baz, that feels incredible.”

He releases my skin from his mouth and licks over the mark that I know is there but can’t see. I grab his hair and drag his lips to mine. I lose myself to the feeling of his tongue twisting with mine while we grind and move against each other, swallowing our sighs and groans. 

I break off the kiss and reach for the hem of his shirt.

“Off. I want this off. Now.”

Baz chuckles and helps me rip his shirt off his lean body. He has a dark smattering of hair over the top of his chest, just under his collarbones. I run my fingers through it lightly, loving the tickling softness of it against my fingers.

“This is new. I like it. It’s sexy.”

A slight blush stains his cheeks and he smiles shyly down at me. 

“I didn’t know how you would react to it. I’m glad you like it.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s so hot.” I reach up and nuzzle his chest and inhale the scent I have now assigned to him. It’s my favourite scent and I would kill to have it every day.

The wistfulness and sadness must show in my eyes, as Baz draws back slowly, placing his hand on my cheek. His thumb rubs across my cheek gently while he searches my eyes. 

“What’s wrong, love? You look sad all of a sudden.”

I sigh and turn my head so I can press a kiss into his wrist, feeling his pulse flutter against my lips. I draw my arms around him and pull him back down to me. He nestles back into my side, tucking his head into my neck with a content sigh.

“It just sucks so much that we don’t have his all the time. We hardly even have our dreams anymore. I want more of this. I’m just sad that fate is a prick.”

He snorts out a laugh against my neck and then kisses it gently.

“I know. I feel the same. I wish we could wake up like this every morning and fall asleep together every night. Fate is, indeed, a prick. That just means we have to make the most of the time we have when we get it.”

“Speaking of making the most of our time together... stop talking sense to me and just kiss me already. I miss your lips.”

Baz laughs softly. “Well, how can I say no to that?”

“Bold of you to assume you can say no to me at all.”

He looks up at me, eyebrow raised. I love that look. 

“Pfft, like you can talk!”

I cackle out a laugh as he lunges at me, capturing my lips in his as we return to the fevered makeout session we had been having. It doesn’t take long for my shirt to join Baz’s on the ground and I groan at the feeling of our chests sliding over each other, skin to skin.

I reach down and grab Baz’s arse and squeeze it. He gasps and pulls back slightly, the look in his eye a clear challenge.

“What are you going to do with me now that you have me?”

I laugh at him and reply “That’s for me to know and you to enjoy.”

His pupils blow out so much I can hardly see the dark grey that usually stares back at me. He licks his bottom lip slowly, and I trace it with my eyes, swallowing loudly.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

I jut out my chin - challenge accepted.

With a look I could only describe as hunger, he surges back towards my face and I reach up and…

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

I startle awake at the sound of my alarm on my phone. I groan and rub my hand over my face. My body aches and I think I have a kink in my neck as it aches on one side.

I fumble blindly for my phone and swipe to turn the alarm off. With another groan, I heave myself out of bed and get dressed. I promised that I would meet Penny for breakfast at the little cafe on campus. I’m usually an early riser and love breakfast, but today I am exhausted. I was studying for my classes all night and crashed out hard on the uncomfortable bed in my dorm room. I know I was in a really deep sleep, and I think I was dreaming, as I usually wake up before my alarm.

I quickly pack up my laptop and textbooks into my bag and sling it over my shoulder as I rush out the door to get to the cafe. Penny doesn’t appreciate it when I am late. Especially when she is reading over my assignments.

I don’t get her to do this as often any more, but I need to make sure I don’t look like an idiot when I present my part of the group assignment to my partner today.

My partner is such a twat. All posh and arrogant and put together with the nice clothes and shiny hair. I’m usually pretty good with numbers, but he makes me feel like I can hardly count to 10. I just want to make a good impression in our meeting today.

When I burst into the café, I see Penny waiting at our usual table. I wave to her and order myself a coffee and 4 scones. I’m sad that they don’t have the sour cherry ones today, only blueberry. But a scone is a scone and that is good enough for me.

I walk over to the table and drop my bag on the ground, shrug off my coat and unwind my scarf from my neck. I slump down into the chair opposite Penny and smile at her.

“Thanks so much for this, Pen. You’re a lifesaver. I know the maths is good, it’s just the writing part that I’m not so sure on.”

“No problem Simon. I know that numbers is your language of choice.”

Penny is the best. We have been friends ever since Davy brought me back with him and she has been there for it all. I’m just glad that she doesn’t have to cover my bruises any more.

I lean down to get my laptop out and Penny makes a noise in the back of her throat. I look up and find her looking at my neck with a weird look on her face.

I place my laptop on the table and switch it on. “What?” I ask her.

“What did you get up to last night? I thought you told me you were going to stay in and study?”

“I did stay in. I had dinner at the dining hall and was home by 6 and studied until I passed out.”

“Well that’s not what your neck is telling me.”

I screw my face up at her in confusion.

“What do you mean? The beds in the dorms are so horrible and I think I kinked my neck.”

She snorts out a laugh, quickly covering it with a small cough.

“Yeah… I don’t think the bed caused that. Tell me the truth. Who did you take home with you last night?”

I just stare at her blankly. “No one. I went home and studied. Why are you asking me about taking someone home? What does this have to do with my neck?”

“Simon. You have a giant hickey on the side of your neck. You obviously had some sort of fun last night.”

I feel my jaw drop as I slap my hand over my neck, right where it aches slightly. 

“I’ll be right back.” I leap out of my chair and rush to the small bathroom in the back corner of the cafe. Thankfully it’s empty. I close and lock the door behind me and look at my neck in the small, dirty mirror. 

And there it is. One giant purple-red hickey, sitting right there on my neck for everyone to see. The more I stare at it, the more memories come back. I knew I had a dream last night. And not the normal dealing-with-life kind of dream. A joint dream. With my dream guy. This is not the first time we have given each other hickeys. It’s actually more uncommon _not_ to have one, but this is the first time it has translated to real life. 

I stare at myself in the mirror for a while longer. What does this mean? What am I going to say to Penny? I have never told her about my dream person. It sounds crazy. If this hadn’t actually been happening to me for most of my life, I wouldn’t believe it myself.

I shake my head and push it aside for now. I have a meeting with my assignment partner in an hour and I need Penny to read over my written part before then.

I walk back out into the cafe and find Penny reading something on my laptop. I slide into my seat again and just wait for her to be done. 

“This is actually really good Simon. I don’t think he will have an issue with this.”

I scoff. “Yeah I can pretty much guarantee that he will find something wrong with it. He’s such a prat.”

She smiles kindly at me and passes my laptop back over to me. I hit save again and put it into sleep mode so I can slide it back into my bag.

Thankfully, Penny doesn’t question the mark on my neck again, even though I see her steal a few glances at it when she thinks I’m not looking. She really is the best.

Before I’m ready, it’s time for me to meet up with my partner. I give Penny a quick hug and promise to catch up with her soon. I make sure my scarf is wrapped around my neck tightly as I leave. I do _not_ need him seeing the mark. It would just give him more ammunition to fire at me.

I get to our meeting point quickly and am glad that I got there first. Not long after, I see him striding up to me, his leather book bag slung over his shoulder and his long hair tied up in a bun at the nape of his neck. He looks like he just walked off the catwalk. It’s not far for one person to look as good as he does. Maybe it’s a blessing that his personality is so insufferable. If he was nice _and_ fit, I think I would combust on the spot.

“Snow.”

“Pitch.”

“I trust you have actually done your part of this assignment? I will not be pleased if you have forgotten or half-arsed it. I am not carrying you through this subject.”

I bristle immediately. The nerve on this guy. What did I ever do to him?

“Of course I did my part. I don’t know where you got this idea of me that I’m a lazy tit. I actually earnt my place at this university.”

“What are you trying to say, Snow?”

“Well, it’s not like it’s a secret that your mum used to work here. Not everyone can get in on their name alone.”

I can see his shoulders tense under his peacoat. His eyes narrow as he scowls at me. Ok. That was kind of a low blow. He just brings out the worst in me.

“Sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“Clearly. Let’s just get this over and done with so we can be on our way. Can you email me your part?”

I nod stupidly at him, and set my laptop up on a bench close by. I quickly attach my part to an email and fire it off. 

“Ok. Done.”

“Great. Well, as pleasant as this is, I’m going to go and fix all of your mistakes. I will meet you in the library this time next week to finalise the assignment and submit.”

Well, too bad if that doesn’t work for me, I guess. 

“Uh… ok sure. See you next week.”

With that, he sniffs at me, turns on his heel and stalks away. I watch his departure with displeasure (and definitely don’t check out his arse as he walks away) and let out a deep sigh. That wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t great. Only one more week left and then I will, hopefully, be done with him.

I don’t know why this thought makes me as sad as it does relieved.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Baz

I’m standing in what looks like a hotel room, overlooking a busy street below. I’m constantly fascinated that every dream location is different. I’m at the window, hands on my hips, when I feel the atmosphere become charged. 

He’s here.

A smile crawls across my face when I feel his strong arms wrap themselves around my waist and his head press between my shoulder blades.

“Baz. God, I’ve missed this.”

I wrap my arms around his and lean back into his strong embrace.

“Simon. My love. I’ve missed you.”

I feel him exhale and relax against my body. He presses a kiss to my shoulder and slowly turns me so I am facing him. The hickey from last time has all but faded. Shame.

He searches my eyes for a charged moment, and then like a rubber band snapping, lunges for my mouth. I meet him halfway and pull him close to me while we kiss and suck on each other's lips like we can’t get enough. I feel him run his tongue along the seam of my lips and I grant him access immediately. At the first touch of our tongues, I groan deep in my throat and wrap my hand around the back of his neck, angling his head back so I can ravage him properly. Like I have been wanting to do for so long.

His fingers make quick work of the buttons of my shirt, and he slides his scorching hands across my stomach and around to my back, burning a path across me. I whimper as he runs his blunt fingernails down my back, letting his hands settle low on my hips, his little fingers slipping into the top of my trousers.

I break away with a gasp and immediately stark licking and kissing my way down his jaw and neck. When I get to the place where the hickey is fading, he chuckles and pulls his neck away from me.

I look up with a question in my eyes. We have never shied away from this before.

He pinches the skin on my hip and laughs sarcastically.

“We need to talk about what you did to me last time.”

My stomach drops as I wrack my brain trying to remember what I did to him. Did I hurt him? Did I push?

At the bewildered look on my face he laughs and brings a hand up to my cheek, running his thumb over my kiss-swollen lips.

“Babe. I think we should keep all marks somewhere they can’t be seen. The one you gifted me with last time was visible when I was awake. My friend questioned me on it.”

I visibly jerk back at his statement. 

“Are you serious? What the… that’s never been the case in the past!”

“I know. I didn’t know how to explain it. Good thing she is a good friend and let me avoid the topic. But just to be on the safe side, let’s keep them hidden. They are our business.”

With this, he pushes my shirt from my shoulders and lets it flutter to the ground. Normally I would insist that it be hung up properly to prevent it from creasing but with the look in Simon’s eyes, I honestly couldn’t care.

He bends his head slightly and starts kissing the bottom of my throat and along my collar bone. He pauses there for a moment, long enough to suck a mark to the underside of it.

I groan and thank whatever God there is that I have the window behind me to hold me up. Simon slowly works his way down my chest, leaving little red marks in his wake. I reach behind me and find that my dream has conjured up a nice window seat for me to sink into (I will not admit that my knees are getting weaker by the second).

Simon laughs and pushes me fully down onto the seat and starts to kneel between my legs. My breath hitches as I watch his eyes slowly turn from blue to black as his pupils eclipse all colour. His face screams pure hunger and lust. He continues on his mission to mark me everywhere he can get his mouth on. He leaves a particularly large hickey, right on my hip bone, causing me to squirm and gasp at the sensation.

He sits back onto his heels and surveys his handiwork with a proud smirk on his face. Something primal in me roars at the obvious display of possessiveness that the marks clearly show. I glance at myself and feel a growl in the back of my throat.

“You’re a fucking tragedy Simon. You literally couldn’t be a bigger mess.”

“Yeah yeah, but you love me ‘cause we match.”

“I do. I do love you.”

Simon snaps his head up to look at me with a look of shock and joy on his face.

“You… you love me?”

I blush at the tone in his voice and the look of wonder on his face.

“Of course I do. You have been the only good thing in my life. The only constant for years and years. You have always been the sunlight breaking through the clouds of misery.”

I watch his face and can see his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

“Oh, Simon. You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know…”

“I love you too. So much. You are the beacon in my life.” he exclaims in a rush.

I inhale sharply at his admission. I feel a smile crawl over my face, and can’t keep the love from shining through on my face.

“C’mere love.”

With that, Simon surges to his feet and straddles my lap, burying his head into the crook of my neck. I inhale the scent that is so distinctly _Simon_ and run my hands up and down his back.

“Baz. Let’s not waste this time together. God knows when we will get this time again.”

I hum out an agreement and grab under his arse while I stand quickly, holding him close to me so he doesn’t fall. Simon yelps at the sudden movement and wraps his legs around my waist while he clings to my shoulders.

“Baz! What… what are you do-- oof!”

I drop him unceremoniously onto the bed close by and immediately crawl over him before he can sit up properly.

“Let’s not waste this. Shut up and kiss me.”

“Now we’re talking!”

With that, he licks his lips and claims mine again in a searing kiss that would make anyone blush. 

Some time later, we are slowing down and I notice that every time I run my hand down his side, a little more of him disappears. I sigh with resignation - I guess our time is up for tonight.

Before we both disappear totally, I close my eyes and hear him whisper, “I love you Baz.”

When I open them, he has gone and all that is left in his wake is a shimmer of gold dust over the bed. 

“I love you too, Simon.”

*~*~*~*~*

I wake up in my room with a groan. Another dream with my mystery guy. I feel like this one was important. Monumental. But I don’t know why. 

As much as I love those dreams, I hate the feeling the next morning when the images slip through my fingers like smoke. I so desperately wish I could remember _something _about them.

I check my phone and realise I am meant to meet up with Snow in an hour to finalise the assignment we have due for our class.

I stumble into my bathroom, stripping my pyjamas off as I go and stop dead as I catch a glance of myself in the mirror. 

My torso is littered with love bites. There is a particularly brutal looking one on my hip bone. 

What the hell? This has never happened before. I have never had a tactile souvenir from my dreams. Luckily they are all in a place that they are able to be covered. Nearly like it was deliberately done. _Strange._

I shower quickly, dress and mess with my hair long enough that I know I look good. I swing by the cafe on campus to grab a pumpkin mocha breve before I head over to the library to meet with Snow.

He gets there shortly after I do and I roll my eyes at his appearance, like he has caused me such a hardship by waiting 2 minutes when we are both, in fact, earlier than I originally proposed. 

I huff out a breath and stalk into the library, hearing him scramble to keep up with me while I walk to find an empty table in the work area on the second level. 

I find a table that works for us and fold myself into a chair, dropping my book bag on the floor next to me. Snow scrapes out the chair next to me and plonks himself down heavily. 

He sets his laptop up and we start to put our two parts together, adding the finishing touches so we can submit it and I can finally have an excuse to put space between us.

I won’t admit this to him, but his part was actually really well done. I told him it was trash and that I had to change a lot of it to fit mine. 

I don’t know why I do this to him. He’s actually a nice person. Everyone who comes into contact with him is always charmed within seconds by that bright smile and those blue eyes that seem to twinkle.

I have had a massive crush on him since I saw him bluster into the lecture 5 minutes late at the start of semester. I can’t let him know this, obviously.

While I’m sitting here, sipping at my insanely sugary, delicious coffee drink, I hear Simon make a strangled noise in the back of his throat and freeze.

I look over at him and he is sitting with his hands hovering over the keyboard of the laptop, his face the colour of ash. His eyes look like they are about to bulge out of his head and his mouth has dropped open in horror.

I can just feel the dread creep through my veins.

I flick my eyes to the screen and all I can see is a blank white document.

I look back at Snow, and his eyes flick to me and I can just see the terror fill him.

I feel my face harden as I narrow my eyes at him.

“Snow. Where is the report? Why are you sitting in front of an empty document?”

I watch him gulp and his eyes dart around the room, like he can find the answers on the walls.

“Uhh…. it’s all gone..” he mumbles quietly, refusing to make eye contact with me.

I explode.

“Snow! You imbecile. What did you do? That’s due tomorrow!”

“Shit. I dunno. I-I just hit a button and the whole thing disappeared. Shit!”

“Are you kidding me? How do you manage to fuck up so badly, all the time?”

I see him flinch at my comment and feel a flair of regret from my comment. I watch him run his hand through his hair and start randomly clicking at things on the screen. The movement makes his shirt collar shift and I see the hint of a hickey on his neck. I feel my temper snap.

I push his hands away from the laptop as it starts to make a high pitch whining sound. “You’re a fucking tragedy Snow. You literally couldn’t be a bigger mess if you tried. An absolute nightmare.”

“Yeah yeah I know, but we match so you lo-” Snow mutters under his breath, nearly like it was a second thought, until he stops abruptly, eyes widening.

I stop dead and whip my head around to stare at him in shock.

“What?” I whisper. I feel the blood drain from my face as I stare at Snow.

“Nothing… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Snow mumbles. His eyes are flicking around the room nervously and his face is starting to turn red.

“How did.. What.. “ I’m at a loss for words. Those words. They were the ones that were whispered back to me last night by my dream guy. This is the first time I have ever remembered anything from my dreams but I remembered those words. And Snow just parroted them back to me like he was… like he was there.

Oh. _Oh. _Maybe he was there…

Hope flairs in my chest as I stand abruptly. Snow flinches back like I’m about to hit him. _Idiot_. The glimpse of the hickey from before gives me an idea that I hope won’t backfire on me. I have a hunch. And I hope to God that I’m right.

I slowly raise the hem of my shirt up a bit, exposing my right hip bone.

He looks down at my exposed skin and he gasps loudly. His eyes shoot back to mine while he stares, mouth gaping like a fish.

“That mark…” I can see his hand slowly reach out to touch the hickey. I lower my shirt and move away, not trusting myself to let him touch me.

“You… you exist? Like, you’re an actual person? I didn’t make you up?” He stumbles over his words, standing up to face me. I swear I see something that looks like hope on his face.

I can’t bring myself to answer his questions, too dumbfounded by what is actually happening.

He reaches forward and lightly runs his fingers over my cheek. At the contact, I feel like I’ve been zapped by a live wire. Images flood my brain of every dream adventure I had as a child. The initial meeting on the purple beach. The swing competition. The space adventures. The rollercoaster that went into the clouds. Fighting Egyptian mummies. Floating over snowy mountains in a hot air balloon. Trekking through the jungle. Flying with bat and dragon wings. The pirate ship. Swimming through the ocean as mermen. The first kiss. Every kiss after that.

Finally, a face appears on the dream boy that has been there for all of it. The reddish blonde curls. The blue eyes. The choc chip cookie face with all the moles. The face that is currently staring back at me like I’ve grown another head.

“Simon,” I breathe, as I step towards him. I put one hand on his neck and the other on his waist and bring him close to me. His responding look of wonder and amazement is the confirmation I need from him that he received the same influx of information as I did.

“Basil,” he whispers back, breath ghosting over my lips as his eyes search mine. I smile and crash my lips into his, hearing his quick intake of breath and soft groan as he pushes back into me. Our lips fit together like they were made for each other. We kiss like we have been doing this for years. _We have_.

I feel something shift and settle in my chest. A warmth is slowly spreading through my limbs. A type of calm that has only existed in my dreams. Until now.

We break apart and I rest my forehead on his. Our matching grins say everything. I feel like I’m finally home.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The faint morning light breaks through the curtains to our room. I feel Simon shift in my arms and nuzzle against my chest. I hum softly and tighten my arms around him and breathe in the smell of his hair against my face.

6 months on and things are good. Better than good. They are a dream come true.

We spoke about the dreams after our discovery. We learnt everything we could about each other, everything that we never thought to ask as children. We came to the discovery that our dream frequency changed with our physical proximity. This explains why we have hardly had one at all in the time leading up to now – we were so close that fate must have decided that we could do the rest ourselves.

And we did.

Now that we spend every night together, we never meet in our dreams.

We don’t go on flying adventures with wings we created; but we explore different cafes and bars every weekend, hands and fingers entwined. We don’t have to deal with pirates or play in the waves as mermen; but we do dance quietly in our flat, hardly even moving, swaying to a beat only we can hear. We have never revisited my childhood dream beach; but Simon will drop a kiss onto my cheek if I surprise him with scones from the coffee shop on the corner.

This doesn’t bother us, because what we have is so much better than fantasy. It’s real.

For once in our lives, our reality is what keeps us going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://wo2ash.tumblr.com/)!


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